


tweek doesn't wanna make some real motherfucking money

by Tweekpuncher



Category: South Park
Genre: Funny, M/M, Not aged up, clean, its just kisses dont worry, pimp Butters, repost
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-08
Updated: 2020-09-08
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:28:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26357977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tweekpuncher/pseuds/Tweekpuncher
Summary: Repost!
Relationships: Craig Tucker/Tweek Tweak
Comments: 3
Kudos: 60





	tweek doesn't wanna make some real motherfucking money

Business was slow. Even with fifteen girls under his command, the market was simply flooded. Every girl-kissing guy in school had run through the menu, most of them with more than a handful of the girls. People just weren’t buying kisses like they used to.

Butters sat at his desk, working out his budget. All the numbers suggested he needed to let a few girls go to continue paying his best sellers enough to make it worth their while, but he just couldn’t bear it. He loved his hoes so dearly. He continued scribbling as the bell rang, and the teacher wandered in to the front of the class to begin teaching.

He simply needed a new market. That’s all that would save them now.

In front of him, Tweek gave one of his bi-minute grunts. Butters lifted his eyes, mostly just to give them a rest from the white of the paper. Tweek’s hair looked soft. The back of his neck was smooth and pale. He was a lot smaller than the other guys in class, with small, delicate-looking hands.

Butters leaned forward ‘til his mouth was nearly on Tweek’s shoulder. “Bitch? You wanna make some motherfuckin’ money?”

Tweek’s gaze stayed firm on the teacher.

Butters tried again. “Hey, bitch. You wanna make some real motherfuckin’ money?”

To avoid drawing attention, Tweek only turned his head very slightly to whisper, “Are you talking to me?”

“You know it, bitch. You’ve been giving away kisses to Craig for free. Bitch why don’t you sell those kisses and make some real motherfuckin’ money?”

“Stop saying bitch.” He squeaked. The teacher looked at him briefly before returning to the smartboard. “Fuck off, Butters.”

“Bitch why don’t you wanna make some real fuckin’ money?”

“Shut up. Shut the fuck up. Stop saying that.” He turned all the way to the front.

Butters tried to whisper to him throughout class, to no avail. He bided his time until lunch, when he plopped his tray down beside Tweek’s. Tweek offered him a deep glare, but didn’t protest.

“So Tweek,” Butters did his best to muse casually, “why is it you don’t wanna make some real fuckin’ money?”

On Tweek’s opposite side, Craig leaned forward to ask, “What?”

Tweek hastily provided, “He wants me to be one of his hoes. I said no.”

“Oh.” Craig returned to emptying his paper bag lunch onto the table.

“Craig don’t you want this bitch makin’ some real fuckin’ money? Buyin’ those Planetarium yearly passes? Getting’ some nice clothes and lookin’ all pretty for you?”, Butters leaned over Tweek to ask.

“Uh. No.” Craig took a bite of his PB & J. Through a full mouth, he asked, “Why are you talking like that?”

“It’s his pimp voice.” Tweek explained. He set about his usual habit of not eating his lunch, but just smearing it around on the tray.

“You’re still doing that?” Craig asked, incredulous.

“Bitch,” Butters contributed.

“Okay. Well. Cut it out.” Craig took another bite of his sandwich.

“Or what? You’ll kick my ass?” Butters had had a number of boys threaten to kick his ass over politely providing job offers to their girlfriends, but none of them had actually gone through with it. He recognized that he was being maybe a little too cocky, but the Pimp voice was an intoxicating elixir.

“No. I won’t kick your ass.” He passed his fruit gummies over to Tweek, then helped himself to his tater tots.

The pimp voice was potent indeed.

Butters continued to prod and pester Tweek throughout lunch, and then stole position behind him in the recess line. Once they got past through the door, Tweek grabbed ahold of Craig’s hand and went running to the farthest end of the playground, with Butters trailing along closely behind, sounding a constant stream of “bitch” and “motherfucking”s.

They stopped at the brick wall surrounding the court. Tweek held tightly to Craig’s arm, glaring out at Butters. “Leave me alone!”, he growled.

“Dude, you better back off.” Craig monotoned.

“Why? You’re not gonna kick my ass, right?”

“ _I’m_ not.”

Butters didn’t have time to process the words before he felt a small, delicate hand snatch a fistful of his hair and smash his face into the wall.

**Author's Note:**

> i just need to note that i also like bottom uke uguu tweek too...i like all the tweeks


End file.
